9-11-2011

People cry and people die,
It's the way of the world.

Sometimes we love it, sometimes we hate it,
Nevertheless, we must tolerate it.

The pains, the joys, the sorrows,
The promise of many more tomorrows.

It is our right, our gift,
Our plight and our rift.
It is our human condition,
Our following of tradition.

We are human, we are one.
You are me, I am you.
We are us, children of the sun.
They are we, it's what you do.

Throw out your politics and your trifles,
Your left, your right, your day and your night.

Shelve your hatreds and curb your spites.
Turn off the noise, the bull, and your tvs' lights.

You are human, I am human, we are human;
It's a fact that is, will be, and always has been.

We're all different but we're all the same;
We're all players in this so-called game.

People die, and we will cry.
We will die, and people will cry.
It's the way of the world.  We are human.

Always remember, never forget.

The ones you care about, the ones who care about you,
Those who have loved, those who have lost, those who have won,
All the ones who came before, all the ones that will come later,
All that have been, all that are, and all that will be.

Always remember, never forget.

-9-11-2001-

Look at me now

Look at me now, I'm a big kid.
Look at me now, I'm a soulless automaton.
Look at me now, I'm doing it myself.

     One step at a time, mindless and brainless.
     Into the future, into oblivion.
     Eyes in the dirt, sights towards the stars.

Look at me now, I'm an adult.
Look at me now, no hopes, no dreams, and only screams.
Look at me now, I'm a cog in the machine.

Sometimes people only show you what they want you to see. 
Sometimes we only see what we want to see.
Sometimes they only show us what we want to see.

The snake on his belly sneers at the man on his feet.
The snake on his belly pities the man on his knees.
The snake on his belly smiles on the man on his belly.

Wanderlust

I inexplicably feel like traveling.  I just have the urge to go do...something; walk, wander, drift.  I want to go be a vagabond for a while and see where it takes me.

Hold on tight to your dreams.

Bastard lands,
Poisoned skies,
What a sight for some sore eyes.

Slipped through your folded hands,
It's over now, the lies,
It's over now, the cries.

This song gives me the chills, too.  Not sure why.  Reminded of it by Donnie Darko being on today.

Icy fingers, spine tingles,
Trepidation in the air.

I've been here before,
In dreams forgotten,
Something more, I'm sure.


Emblazoned lips, soul strips,
Down to weightlessness.

Shattering the silence, no more violence.
All but.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

Touching you and pulling through,
A mirror inside.

Perfection.

Pleased to meet you,
haven't we been here before?

Adonis received great strength from...one of the gods.  But he also received a gift from Hermes: his speed-granting dead-weasel wristband.  Yes, contrary to popular belief, Hermes was not bestowed great speed from his winged shoes; it came from a wristband composed of a dead weasel and a bit of sticky paper to hold it in place.

So further on with this dream, Adonis and...some other strong person demi-god type, maybe Hercules, are sparring a bit.  Taking shots, backing off, etc.  And I might be Adonis in this.  *Blush*  But he was just rocking it, having all the increased speed and stuff.  Hercules was left dumbstruck by the controlled assault.

After everything is finished, a crowd forms nearby.  This all might be taking place in a mall...or something similar.  And people are asking Adonis how he did it, etc.  "Oh, with this dead weasel from Hermes."  Takes it off, lifts it up, shows it around, etc.  Everyone needs to get a good look at it.

The only problem is, being comprised of sticky paper, it's reduced its stickiness somewhat with having been removed.  So after putting it back on his wrist, the weasel wasn't very...secure anymore.

So Adonis did a bit of a fistpump/faux punch at someone.  And the weasel flew off his wrist.

Running to the target, pushing crowdspeople aside and out of the way, etc, he gets there.  And it's gone.  Hermes' dead-weasel speed-granting wristband has been stolen.  Prob by some evil witch or smth.  Idk.

Oh the horror.

I wish I understood my dreams.

Pizza, yetis, secret passageways.  They don't usually fit together, but they made up the dream I recall from last night.  Not sure how they fit together...at all...but that's what happened.

"I see your face when I close my eyes"

"I said I'd never let you go, and I never did"

Dreams

I had two-three odd dreams last night.  That's not to say that my dreams are ever 'normal' per se, but, you know.  I guess it was three dreams...the quality of details for each is different.  Not sure on the order.

The first dream included something like an airplane race.  Bi-planes, Red Baron, that sort.  The race area was around an extremely large mansion and the grounds it sat on.  Not sure if I was winning or what, may have been, but I decided nosediving my plane into a large pool was the best course of action.  It sped up a bit quicker than assumed, and I wasn't able to take a full breath.  The pool was 127 feet deep, but looked pretty normal in other specifications. 

I went down pretty far with the plane, blowing out bubbles, but also running low on my breath.  It feels like maybe...I was talking to someone on the outside?  Or someone else was watching it?  And I was swimming to break the surface still, and could slightly breathe underwater.  Ended with me reaching the surface successfully.

The second dream was about some sort of factory.  Very dark, gritty, everything might have been in black/white/grayscale.  There were scientists and guards.  The guards were robotic suits with people inside.  There were large walkways high up, and chambers below them, storing bits and pieces of fragile black stone.  Upon touching a stone, it'd crumble.  There was a pit, or a divide in front of the walkway of this section.  Across the way were large, narrow slits, which would suck all the stones and ash and air out, as well as any other flotsam in the area.

I think I would walk around and see people, maybe I would hide.  I think I was walking with a group of scientists.  At one point I had to walk in the footsteps of one, and when I failed, the walkway ended/dropped off and I almost fell off.  Was extremely frightening and I was grabbed onto, but left in the balance while they talked to me.  "Watch your step"?  "Are you ready to walk the right way now?"  "I own this path"?  Something like that, and they pulled me up, and the group continued walking on again.

I'd see dirty children every so often.  Worn down, disheveled, forlorn children.  I think they were being put to work there.  And I came upon a guard, and my view switched to the guards, which was an electronic screen, and it showed a child behind me, highlighted by a red box.  I think the guard was going to dispose of us, but the red box was special.  The child scurried away and hid. 

The guard came out of their suit I think.  Maybe talked to me.  Maybe it was their shift change.  I followed her into the guard barracks and talked to them I think, while she was getting changed.  Not fully nude, but more of a...wetsuit.  She looked familiar...but different...like "someone" and I liked them for it.  And I'd hop around trying to get their attention.  They were uninterested but noticed it and sarcastically mimicked me while in the mirror.  Another guard walked by.  The other guard or my mother addressed me and said, "Your pussy is on the phone."  This offended and confused me.  Blurry after that.

I think they were using the children for work until they exhausted themselves, then turned them into coal or something for energy.

The third dream took place at an old carnival or amusement park.  There was a popular roller coaster that everyone was waiting in line for.  Just waiting and moving in line was part of the ride, and at a fork in the path, I went one way with a couple people.  It led to a small shed of sorts.

The first room of the shed was pretty much completely dark.  No light source.  Had a flashlight maybe?  And it as totally cluttered.  Had a door leading to another room, partially lit.  It seemed to be a bit of a living space.  Had a bed, clothes scattered around, stuff of the sort.  Maybe for the owner of the carnival?  And we found a box with about half a crumb apple pie.  And one person with me said, "Isn't that what they call a British pizza?" and started to roll it up.  Myself and another friend tried to get our pieces first.  Don't remember.  Next, someone's girlfriend came in, maybe the owner's.  Not sure.  And that's it.

"Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest, its about who came and never left"

 "An honest answer is the sign of true friendship." Proverbs 24:26

"I think of you and I'm alright"

"Be true to your work, your word, and your friend." Henry David Thoreau

"Just pray when there's nothing you can do. Just pray and faith will pull you through."

"Beauty captures the eye, but personality captures the heart."...I'd say inner-beauty captures the heart, too...

"If you have faith, nothing shall be impossible for you." -Matthew 17:20

"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyways" -John Wayne

"No one's perfect, and some are further from it than others."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"i'm waiting, and i'm yours"

Deep breaths

Deep breaths.
In and out.
Calming, focusing.

Relax.  Positive thinking.
Visualize your goal; as detailed as possible.
Memorize.

Your path?
As of yet unknown.
But it's there.
And you'll take it.

Focus, believe, think, hope, wish, pray, love.
Have faith.
Visualize.  Positive thinking.  You can make it happen.

It will.

Deep breaths, in and out.
Heart racing, focus.
Relax.

Visualize.

Every throb

The taste of sleep and bile on my breath,
Nothing sweeter.

Contempt and conviction, heart pumping and thumping,
Blood rushing, pooling, clumping.
I'm dying.

Dying inside, dead in the head,
chest full of rage, feet made of lead.

Fist clenched, numb inside.
Pressing forward in the name of Justice.

I feel it all, I feel nothing at all.
I'm perfectly imperfect, perfectly insane.

Aching, gaping, the roaring hole in my chest.
Every throb.

There is no right time or wrong place, you're always right where you need to be right when you need to be.  Even if you don't understand it.

"days come and go, but my feelings for you last forever"

I'm not.

I'm not the bravest, the smartest, the tallest.
I'm not the fastest, the slowest, the worse.
I'm not the best, the sweetest, the kindest.

I'm not perfect,
But I'm perfect for you.

I'm the best, for you.  The sweetest, for you.  The kindest, nicest, most loving, for you.
Capturing the moon and corralling the stars,
I'd do for you,
in the blink of an eye.

You bring out the best in me and let me forget the worse.
Testing and pushing, making me strive to be first.
Yin and Yang, you and me,
Taking on the world.

Complete, whole.
Burying the hole,
I'd have in me without you.

I'm not perfect,
But I'm perfect for you.
But I'm perfect with you.

Brian & Stewie

"maybe making someone else happy is enough, because it is the best gift one person can give"

This is the lesson learned at the conclusion of a Family Guy episode named Brian & Stewie.  It's the 150th episode in the series.  And I think it's the only one I've ever taken anything of value from.

It had the show's usual idiotic moments, but overall it was toned down considerably.  The episode focused on serious character exploration and motivation in the midst of being trapped in a bank vault over a weekend.

Maybe making someone else happy is enough.

Getting the chills

I'm not sure why but every time I hear this song it gives me the chills.